Spirituality principles, struggles, knowledge base and insights for the earnest seeker.

Stop Looking For Happiness

Everyone seems busy looking for happiness. Many use it as the ultimate measure of their success. Some say it’s the meaning of life. For myself, I have never let happiness bother me. Me and happiness, we have an understanding. I leave happiness alone and happiness leaves me alone. Together, we are both happy that way.

You see when you look for happiness you indirectly admit to yourself that you are not as happy as you want to be. Why would you do that to yourself? Unless you are in some dire strait I see absolutely no reason to deny yourself that feeling of being happy. When you do that – allow yourself to be happy – want is there left to look for?

Happiness can never be enough. So is a lot of other things. One can never get enough love, respect, validation, appreciation, attention, success, beauty and the list simply goes on. Why would you let that stop you from being happy? Isn’t that like, stupid? No offence.

Yet there are countless millions who are absolutely convinced that they are not happy. Some are downright miserable with really little reason to be so. It seems to me that we are the worst enemy of our own happiness.

My simple observation with regards to happiness is that it must be primarily genetics. I am convinced that somewhere in the human genome there must be a gene for cheerfulness and happiness. If you have that gene, you would be cheerful/happy most of the time. However if you don’t have that gene, you would most likely be mumbling and grumbling your whole life. So if you are not an happy person – don’t sweat. It’s not your fault. You can blame it on your parents – or better still God – if it makes you happy.

Yeah, Right.

Millions of people try of all sorts of philosophies, religions and spend millions of dollars checking themselves into communes, cults, retreats, seminars and even paying priest and holy men all in an effort to be happy. Then there are those who are absolutely convinced that all you need to be happy is to find the one true love of your life. Yeah, right.

The entertainment industry as truly convinced us that happiness is something that we can acquire and it is “out there” somewhere. Where exactly it is they have failed to specify but it’s “out there” somewhere. All you have to do – according to the movies, tv shows and happiness gurus – is keep on looking. One of these days you are going to find it. Yeah, right.

Then there are those who say that in order to be truly happy, you need to make others happy. There is only one problem with this. They never specify how many others we are supposed to appease before we ourselves begin to feel happy. As it turns out the formula is still being worked out and no one knows the actual answer yet. If this premise were true than entertainers – who literally make millions of people happy – should be the most happiest people on earth. I think you know if that is true or not. I don’t need to tell you. OK. Forget it. I’ll tell you. It’s not true.

Then of course there are the religious. For them everything needs to be about God. Yeah, even happiness. So if you want to be happy, forget about yourself and just remember God. Problem is it’s easier said than done. What exactly are we supposed to “remember” when we remember God? I have no recollection of God. Do you?

So happiness to me is like the mouse running around in the wheel. Always thinking it’s getting somewhere but always in the same place. Sooner than later – usually later for humans – we jump of the wheel and discover a whole new way to be happy. Just by being. No ambition, no expectation, no targets, no desire. Of course that is not going to make a lot of people around us happy. They want you on the wheel spinning it faster and faster. Because we love them we jump on the wheel again only to get off when we are old and have no more energy for it. We tell ourselves that it had been a good run and that it was worth it – even we would do it all over again if we could. We tell ourselves that being on the wheel made us happy. Yeah, right.

So stop wasting precious time trying to be happy. Stop searching for happiness because it really is not “out there”. There really is no one who can make you happy – at least not for prolonged periods of time. Happiness is transitory. It comes and goes – just like your thoughts. Let it flow. Don’t try to latch on to it. It will do you no good. If anything, cultivate cheerfulness. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. Because in the end, everything is a joke. Really. Everything is really a joke.

Now it’s your turn to say, “Yeah, right”.

A labor of love for the seeker – whoever you are and wherever you may be. May you find solace in these words.

Your brother in spirit

ben gill

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